Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans...

Using a John Lennon quote as a blog post title is definitely cliche...but I'm decidedly okay with it. I'm not entirely sure why I'm deciding to write a post now after so long, but I am. Next week will be a big week for both Harrison and me. The deadline for his university selection is April 15th, so he will need to make a decision about accepting or declining OSU's offer by Thursday, April 12th. He was going to make the decision by today, but Washington University asked him to hold on just a little bit longer. For a few days, I convinced myself that this day would finally, finally be the day that a huge chunk of my future would be figured out...but I was wrong. Again. It has become incredibly draining to have these deadlines continually pushed further and further out, so I'm actually thankful that April 15th is the absolutely-can't-avoid-it-must-decide deadline. And, while I'm fearful that things won't turn out the way that we want them to, I'm relievedto finally have a non-negotiable settled deadline. Essentially, I just wanna know where the hell I'm moving to and living for the next 5 to 6 years of my life. I just want to know which state I need to get my teaching license in and I just want to know which school districts I should be hunting for jobs in. I just...want...to know.

Anywho, as I mentioned, next week is an important week for more than one reason. I will be finding out on April 12th if I've been selected to be a Teach for America Corps Member. This is both a joyous and a disheartening prospect. I am extremely hopeful that I will be selected to be a TFA Corps Member, but I am extremely sad about that fact that I might not be able to accept the position if I am selected. See, the only two possible places for me to do Teach for America (given my circumstances with Harry) would be Cincinnati, OH and St. Louis, MO. If he ends up going to OSU, I could possibly agree to do TFA in Cinci but that would be a 2-hour cumulative daily drive 5 days per week for two years. If Harry ends up going to WashU, then a TFA assignment in St. Louis would be perfect. Despite where Harry ends up, though, I would have to actually be offered a spot in the appropriate town...I mean, if he ends up at WashU but they try to send me to Indiana or something, I'll have to say no regardless. And then I'm back to square one with job applications. In all honesty, I'm incredibly fearful that I won't be able to secure a teaching job for next year in time and I'll end up doing some job that I don't like or that is totally unrelated to my field for yet another year.

At this point in this blog entry, I have begun to ramble in a way that challenges the rules of grammar and communication. For this reason, I think I'll cut this post short and sign off. I'm not sure why I'm writing all of this and I'm definitely not sure of who (if anyone) will actually read it...but I feel like I can't take this stress to Harry because he has so much of his own already and I can't really take it to anyone else because they've all heard it 1,000 times as it is. So here I am, Internet, bringing it to you. Beware, therapists, for my generation seems to have made the Internet and all its available media outlets our new-age counselor.

Fin.

The times, they are a-changin'...

Welp...it's been a hot minute since my last post. All you cyberspacers out there that have missed me in my absence and have been checking my blog every single day waiting for even one shred of correspondence, don't you worry your pretty heads any longer! I have returned! And things have changed...

So, I stopped blogging because graduate school takes everything out of your life, including all the time you might have once labeled as "spare." However, to make up for a massive theft of resources (time, money, sleep, etc.), grad. school has given me something in return: a damn good education. I'm not saying this as a plug for The Ohio State University (and it is THE, for the record...just in case any out-of-staters think I'm being a jerk or think that I'm getting kind of specific about my articles...). I'm saying this because I truly cannot believe all of the ways that my mind has grown and changed since I started my M.A. program one year ago. It just makes me want to keep learning and keep learning...I suppose I have my whole life for that :-)

Let's see, what else has changed. I'm moving to Cincinnati (actually, that should be happening any day now), and I've recently been appointed as Exam Prep. Coordinator at a tutoring center called Huntington Learning Center. Pretty exciting stuff, honestly. This is partly why I chose to change the name of my blog: now that I have a B.S. and a M.A. and a job with the word "coordinator" in the title, I think it's time I face the music that I'm a bonafide grown-up and that I have officially entered what so many have been enigmatically calling the "real world." It's not that I'm a giant toddler or anything; I've always been a relatively mature person. It's just that I've become acutely aware that what your parents tell you is true: life really does happen a lot faster than you think it does. Or, in the words of John Lennon: "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." But I'm incredibly thankful for the opportunities that I've been given, the luck that I've stumbled upon, and the faith that others seem to have in me even when I lack it. I wouldn't be standing where I am if others hand't helped carry me along the way.

That's a tad touchy-feely, no? So let's move on. What are my hopes for this blog as I continue to write in it? Well, I have a few (albeit lofty) goals for the upcoming year. Shall we see them in a list? I think we shall...

• I want to make a fair amount of $ to put away in my savings. This is going to take more budgeting, planning, and will-power than I have shown in the 23 years that I have thus far lived.
• I want to at least work on my Spanish...I'm not saying I want to become fluent in a year, but I want to make serious headway.
• I want to have a stronger grasp on how to play the piano and the guitar. Ultimately, if I can play "Bridge Over Troubled Water" on the piano and "Here Comes The Sun" on the guitar, I'll feel like I've done something with my life (Simon & Garfunkel and The Beatles, respectively).
• I want to work on my creative writing. It's always been a dream of mine...well, less of a dream and more of a nagging, gnawing thing at the back of my brain that tells me I have things to say and that they need to be put down on paper. I don't care if anyone ever reads my words, but I need to let them out. For my own sake.

Yep, this pretty well covers most of what I'm wanting to accomplish. Well, all this plus doing well at my newly-appointed job. It's a lot to accomplish in 365 days or less, but a girl's gotta have goals, right?

For all of those faithful Jessica Lynn followers out there (Rian), I shall keep you posted on my successes, my failures, and my adventures along the way. If nothing else, this blog will at least serve as a cathartic point of release for all of those thoughts that I think but that I don't say aloud...that's gotta be worth something, I'm sure :-)

---Jessica M. Lynn, fledgling grown-up and blogger extraordinaire

('extraordinaire', 'novice'...po-tay-to, po-tah-to, right?)

Click here to hear the song that inspired this post's title...

The Things We Say

The following is a rather sporadic list of quotes, conversations, or comments that either I have been a part of producing/participating in or have heard.

"The main difference between a rave and a riot is the presence of glow sticks."--Me. Can't really explain this; had to be there I guess.

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Kayla: "Does our renter's insurance cover us if a unicorn breaks down our door and that allows a band of surly gnomes to enter our home and destroy our property?"

Me: (after long pause) "Does it matter if our policy doesn't cover that?"

Kayla: "It might, and you're going to want to know if that coverage is available should occasion arise."

Me: "I'll call our agent."

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Kayla had a very, very weird and unacceptable lengthy phone conversation with a prospective employer during which many questions were asked that didn't pertain to the workplace, so...

Me: "Sounds like that guy was trying to get into your panties."

Kayla: "But he doesn't even know what I look like; we just talked."

Me: "Sometimes all it takes for a person is intellectual intrigue and stimulation."

Kayla: (following thoughtful consideration) "So, he's trying to get into my intellectual panties?"

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From an interesting Rolling Stone interview with Leonardo DiCaprio: "I'd hate to die. I try to assess as many different ways as possible not to die."

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At a delightful dinner at a local Mediterranean eatery named Aladdin's: "Eating lamb is like eating steak only better because lamb is just better tasting. Lamb is like steak^{2 (steak squared).}

(**I apologize to vegetarians, vegans, and anyone else whom I love and who finds it unkind to eat baby sheep; it was on the menu and, alas, I partook).

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The other day, I was asking Kayla a question at random while I was in my room and Kay was in the kitchen. Naturally, she had difficulty hearing me. Also, just as an added bit of info., Kayla can be easily offended at times and, when this happens, she becomes immediately defensive. Also, FYI, sometimes kittens and even adult cats "knead" people or things (probably something to do with separation issues, daddy issues, or some other odd thing for which only kitty-cat therapy can be the cure).

Me: "Hey, Kayla, does your cat knead you?"

Kayla: (mishearing which "knead/need" I meant; responding in angry tone) "Well, yeah, my cat needs me...why?"

Me: "Really, he still kneads you? I thought he'd grow out of that once he became an adult cat..."

Kayla: "Uh, well, I am still his primary source of food and water, so, yeah, he needs me..."

Me: (not as versed on cats as my sister) "Does kneading have to do with their relationship to food and those that give it to them?"

Kayla: (more irritated and slightly offended, still misunderstanding) "Look, I pay for the bastard's food and scoop his crap, so I think he still needs me, no matter what..."

Me: (growing more confused) "Wha--? So as long as you feed a cat, they will be inclined to knead you?"

Kayla: (leaping headfirst into full-on annoyance mode) "Uh, yeah, because if he stopped needing me then that means I wouldn't have to feed him anymore because his needing me mostly has to do with me being the person that feeds him."

Me: "So, if he stopped kneading you, you'd starve him to death?"

Kayla: "What?!? No, if he finds another foods source, then he doesn't really need me anymore at all!"

Me: "So, you're saying that if your cat somehow finds a hidden bevy of cat food that he won't knead you anymore?"

Kayla: (always out to prove that her finicky cat really does love her, now raising her voice from the kitchen) "You know what?! Your cat doesn't really need you either, cat's are very self-sufficient, and my cat's reliance on me has grown from a place of mutual love and respect, okay? So even though I guess no cats ever really 'need' their people, he chooses to need me and I benefit him with love and food, okay?! What the hell is this all about, anyway?"

Me: (I finally realize the mishap in communication and I start to laugh my fool head off)

Kayla: "Shut up, my cat loves me!!"

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"As a pastor, I have a calling, where everybody else just has a job." This little gem met my ears while flipping trough radio stations on the way to work. I was hoping to hear some good tunes, but ran up against this offensive nugget instead. I will likely be inclined to delve into this more in the future, but I thought it was especially offensive and, honestly, un-Christan-like to say such a thing (it was a Christian radio station on which I heard this, and a Christian pastor which said it). To belittle the callings of educators, of healthcare providers, of social workers, of singers, of painters, of writers, of anybody else that ever felt they were drawn to a specific and powerful thing to which they want to dedicate their entire lives seems very condescending. Even from a Christian-centric point of view, couldn't one argue that God calls everyone to different things so they can be as successful in their society as they can, as meaningful as they can, in order to do God's work, etc. etc.? As an educator, and someone that feels "called" to said profession by my heart and my mind and my gut, I felt offended. Just thought that was interesting.

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"Stay in touch with your online life when you're away from home!" This is one of the latest slogans for AT&T's pitch for their new WiFi services which allow AT&T members to access their internet database and information stored thereon etc. etc. when they are away from home. This struck me as particularly disturbing; as with the last quote, I feel like I could go on about this much more (and I might in the future). Have we really become so removed from human contact and the world outside our own front doors that we feel a serious drain on our emotional and psychosocial health when we are begrudgingly forced to walk away from our Facebook and our blogs and our Twitters and whatever else for a few hours? I mean, has leaving the house and interacting with other people in the more original human way really become that much of a bane? I'm only 22, but I feel disconnected from my own generation because I'm the weirdy that would rather call instead of text long conversations, I'd rather meet for coffee than just Yahoo! Instant Message people, and I'd rather laugh out loud at somebody's joke instead of express my delight by typing three overly-used letters to represent the action. Our online lives? What about our offline lives? Who is making sure that we have the opportunity to stay connected to one another in the most basically human way? Who offers that service for a small monthly fee? Oh, now that I've said that, I'm imagining all the possible sites or programs that might already be in existence that actually promise to do just that...jeez, I just wonder what it's going to be like in 50 years: the streets will be barren for nobody has to go to work anymore due to teleconferencing, the stores will be closed for everyone does their shopping online, and there will be entire phone service plans that JUST offer texting, no calling, for no one would use it anymore anyway. Kinda makes me wish all the hype of Y2K would've actually happened; at least then we'd all be sitting under some dank, dark bridges, drinking our massive storages of bottled water, eating our non-perishable canned goods, and talking about the whole thing face-to-face.

Do I seem hypocritical for posting this thought on my blog? To some, probably. However, I at least have the excuse that I'm so impatient to hear what friends/family thought of my latest blog entry that I end up saying all of these things face-to-face anyway. I guess I'm a hybrid.

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"The end."--Me. Goodnight!

"I met a rather agreeable gnat today..."

Thank you Kayla Harwood for the title of my blog today...this is something she said to me for the effect of epitomizing her utter boredom with life right now. Poor girl, she's a smidge too young to find a job with most employers and a bit too disconnected from the outside world with doing her first full-time college semester online. I must say, I'm not in much better shape as of yet...having started my job a couple of weeks ago now, I'm getting out and about and around other human beings more that I was prior to the start of my employment, but only in a professional setting. Maybe it's just me, but I always feel a little like a creep with I'm first trying to transition my "work friendships" into "real-world friendships." I'm a pretty pushy, awkward, sporadic person, so I'm hoping that people find me disjointedly charming instead of straight-up creep-town when I'm trying to nudge in on their world and social group which they've already established. Note to all potential future friends: I'm weird, and I talk WAY too much, but I'm loyal, I make a great cheesecake, and some people have said I'm funny.

Recently, the weather has taken a strange plummet towards the chilly...even cold, some might say. I hear it's just a phase that the weather is going through, but let's face it: it's September, and we're towards the Eastern side of the country rather than the Western, so it's about time for us to break out our jackets, shake out our thicker scarves, and (gasp!) consider turning off our A/Cs for the season. Yikes, I know. I have to say, the Summer/Spring/Autumn seasons are much more my gig (in that order), and Winter is simply the bane of my existence. I don't care about the whole "you can always put layers on but you can only take so many layers off" business...I don't buy it. I mean, yeah, it's an indisputable statement, but c'mon. I would rather sweat all day long than try to fight the unshakeable chill of Winter for godonlyknowshowmany months. But, as they say, to each their own...whoever "they" are.

Much as the weather has taken a dive for the less enjoyable, my life has taken a turn for the less interesting. Work is going really well, and I honestly like the work I'm doing and the people with which I work. Other than that, though, that's kinda my life right now (hence the aforementioned desire to force myself on random work colleagues in an attempt to make them accept me as a friend, if only for the sake of random social engagements to stave off the boredom of monotony). As I often do when I get bored, I've taken on a flare of drama (more than usual, that is) and I think that's causing some supreme annoyance with the people I already call my friends and loved ones. To those of you: I apologize. Please love my anyway :-)

That's all for today...exciting, I know. Thrilling, even. If this didn't bore you enough, I hear Sherwin Williams is having their much-anticipated Paint Drying Labor Day Weekend Extravaganza Event...the blessed individuals at Sherwin Williams select a variety of fun and trendy fall colors, paint them on various surfaces, draw in large crowds, and invite said crowds to simply stand in silence and watch paint dry. I hear it's great.

DO go chasing waterfalls! You won't regret it...

Kayla and I got sick of being in the apartment again. I love our place, really...it's lovely, it's nicely decorated, it's in a great area of town. Being in the same place for days on end, though, that's killer. Still broke, Kayla and I pondered on what we could go do. Kay's online classes just started and she has to read all of Beowulf by next week (along with some other random assignments) and I am contemplating reading this one book so I can participate in a monthly book club held at the Grandview Heights Library. Not wanting to read in our apartment and not particularly wanting to get fancied-up enough to go to some hip little coffee shop, we decided to throw on some grubby clothes and head to some wooded area, find a comfy rock or sitting spot, and crack open our books. With the help of Google and some choice "stuff to do around Columbus"-type sites, we found something called a "hidden waterfall" out in an area called Hayden Falls Park.

The 10-minute drive from our apartment to Hayden Falls Park was definitely worth it. It wasn't much of a "park" really; it was more like a steep set of wooden stairs that led to a rather short wooden walkway that ended in a view of a really cool little waterfall. Not seeing any signs telling us what we couldn't do, Kayla and I naturally assumed we could do anything, so we hopped the little wooden fence and poked around the waterfall. Eventually we scaled about 30 feet of rock wall (much easier than that sounds, I assure you) and we took a seat and took turns reading reading parts of Beowulf aloud. After about an hour, we had decided that, for today, we'd had enough. While the "park" wasn't really much of a park, and the "trail" was really just a plank-covered pathway, it was definitely worth going, and we'll certainly go back. We heard that there are some even bigger falls out in Dublin, OH and that the trails to the falls are actual trails, so hopefully those are in our very near future. For now, if you want to take a gander at what we saw, you should watch the very short and uneventful video attached to this blog. All in all, we decided that chasing waterfalls instead of sticking to the rivers and the lakes that we're used to is actually a good idea... :-)

"Some rides are rough & leave you jumpy, why make it tough by getting grumpy?"

This post's title was shamelessly stolen from a lyrical treasure called "Merrily We Roll Along" from a musical by the same title. Have you heard of it? Most of you, I'm sure, have. Apparently, it's some kind of cult-classic in the musical world. I, however, am not cool/informed enough to have heard of it prior to the other day despite my undying love for musicals of all kinds. See, being bored in a city that is bursting at the seams with artsy things isn't such a terrible lot. Getting tired of napping, watching bad television on Netflix, and yelling at my sister's cat to stop attempting to mortally wound my kitten, Kayla and I and the teeny-tiny bank accounts we're trying to live on right now decided to search for something entertaining to do; it was on this search that I was finally introduced to the aforemetioned musical delight.

Here in town, there are a number of theaters for live acting, Hollywood blockbusters, Indie films, flashy musicians, one-man bands...there's a stage for everyone and everything it seems. One of those stages is located at the Riffe Center in downtown Cbus and the group that performed last night is a group called the Available Light Theatre, and after seeing one of their shows, I'm in love. A long-time lover of community theatre, I was really excited when I discovered that "Merrily We Roll Along," a Sondheim musical with what the Internet revealed to be long-lasting popularity, was going to be available in a pay-what-you-want production. As mentioned many times by now, I am wickedly poor. I decided Kayla and I were definitely going to go watch this show, assuming it would be an entertaining couple of hours in which I could get out of the apartment and into some industrial-grade air conditioning and, as an added bonus, Kayla and I would be able to take in a bit of entertainment at a drastically reduced price. I can't tell you how shocked I was when I discovered the caliber of acting, production, directing, set development, etc. that was put into the show we saw.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not trying to say that I thought it wasn't going to be good. I'm simply saying I didn't know it was going to be GREAT. Let's focus for a moment on the musical itself, shall we? The show, all in all, was over 2 hours long, but you wouldn't know it. The multi-layered, intricately intertwined stories that run throughout the show keep every inch of you at attention for every minute. The show is about so many things, but one of those things is relationships and how complicated they can be. It's a classic tale in that aspect: people enter each other's lives, people impact and influence and change one another, and a whole smorgasbord of emotions muddy the waters and make things beautiful and gut-wrenching all at once. The difference between "Merrily" and other shows about love and life is that "Merrily" seems to recreate with its movement, its pace, and its layering the real feeling of being in a long-term friendship. By beginning at the end and moving to the beginning, the audience becomes more and more aware of the true importance and impact of previously-mentioned lines or memories as time goes on, and by the end you're completely engrossed in every word because of how important each one has become. I could go on, but I can also make this shorter by simply saying that the show is brilliant.

Now, let's touch for a moment on the group that performed this show. I don't like to reuse adjectives when there are so many out there to use, but "brilliant" is so fitting that I think I'll make an exception this time. While I could go on and on about each of the actors and actresses on stage last night, there are two that I wanted to walk up to and talk them into coming and getting a drink with me just so I could be around such talent for a couple of hours, and those people were Nick Lingnofski (playing Charley) and Heather Carvel (playing Mary). Musical performances: inspiring. Acting: so genuine. Like I said, all of the actors and actresses were amazing, but those two were ones that I kept turning to Kayla and saying "Wow!" about. Needless to say, the whole thing was really enjoyable and I will be doing everything I can to see more from this group.

As far as everything else in my life, well...there's not a lot at the moment. I want so much to do more and discover more where this city is concerned, but not everyone offers a pay-what-you-want option, so my options are limited for the time being. Speaking of finances, though, I have found a job...again. See, prior to moving here I did a rigorous amount of job searching and, yay, found a job with a cellular service provider (look how politically correct I am! No name-dropping). The job wasn't going to be glamorous, definitely nothing like my previous hospital registration clerk positions, but it was going to pay the bills. After I moved here, though, one of my classes got changed and my school schedule had a kink in it and my soon-to-be manager didn't respond understandingly when I informed her of the change (in fact, she didn't respond even remotely promptly) so I panicked and started looking for another job and blah blah blah and now I'm going to work in an optometrist's office :-) I start Monday. Now if I could only find a job for my sister....

I'm going to Cinci this weekend to see my dad and his wife and, hopefully, I'll be trekking to Cleveland soon to see the rest of my Ohio family. In thinking of the Ohio family that I am now closer to, I inevitably think of my Kansas family that I am further away from, distance-wise. I think of my magnetic and dependable mother, my insightful and loving grandmother, my leathered yet warm, kind grandfather, my wide variety of amusing/entertaining/intelligent/inspiring/diverse/creative/wonderful cousins and their equally diverse and lovable parents, the truly unique friends that became my family, and, of course, the love of my life. Isn't it crazy that someone can be deliriously excited and happy while simultaneously being the kind of sad and lonely that makes your whole body feel weak?

I'm so glad that I made this move, and I look forward to all of the things I'll accomplish here, all that I'll learn, and all of the great people that I hope I meet. That doesn't mean, though, that it doesn't sting everyday to not have the people around me that I spent various parts of 22 years getting used to having. I guess that's the thing about growth and change: it can't happen without the standard accompaniment of pain. That's something that "Merrily We Roll Along" definitely touches on, and that might be part of why I fell so deeply in love with it last night.

Well, that's all for now. Mom: I love you so much. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have had the strength to uproot my life and move here. Friends: I miss you, when are you coming to visit me? My couch is surprisingly comfortable :-) Harry: I'm in love with you, but then again, you knew that already ;-)

Au revoir...

The Nouns In My Life Today

Kitten

Apartment

Columbus

Bills

Anxiety

Excitement

The Ohio State University

Loneliness

Sister

Generation X Radio Station (awesome, for the record)

Nostalgia

Job interview

Butterflies (of the stomach variety)

Boredom

Monotony

Laughter

Sadness

Smiles

Tears

Longing

Hopefulness

Diet Coke

Aimless cruising (the best kind of driving)

Dirty Dishes

Sunshine

Creation

What a day...